The fear of judgement was made secondary to this overarching curiosity and any discomfort that I might have been causing through the process of doing the work was in service of making something interesting.

The one reliable way of building one’s self esteem is to partake in these small, tactical engagements with reality and to come out the other end successful and, most importantly, to be able to understand firsthand that one has the capacity to become the sort of person that is capable of affecting the reality that surrounds us.

It’s surprising how the things we so desperately need often appear during moments when we are not actively in pursuit.

It is not as if the trees had suddenly decided to switch overnight, but on this day it was easier to notice the vibrancy of the transition of autumn settling in.

The numbers got me curious, but it was the how that led to the questions. Over time, I got to learn that not only was he doing impressive speeds over large distances, he was having fun while doing it all.

‘No way!’ was my instinctive reaction to learning this. To me, running has always been associated with pushing, effort, exertion, intensity, pace, velocity and… exhaustion. But fun? That sounded totally wild, and yet intriguing at the same time.

Upon arriving back in Kuala Lumpur, it became evident very quickly that as much as time has passed for me, it has also passed for the people, places and things that I knew of 8 years ago.

That small transitory experience was yet another hint that the chase does not need to be enveloped by extravagance, and that much can be had with so little.

Change, by definition, is a scary and tumultuous proposition even at the best of times, when we have the option of saying yes or no. There are many other times when change is applied to us, rather than one we actively choose to engage at our own will.

In the more fortunate circumstance of the latter, it is still important to realise that choosing to stay put also has its own price.

Just like a full garage packed to the brim with well used tools and equipment, endless rows of bookshelves gives a sense that the owner has put in the necessary work of making use of the latent potential towards some end.

With this lens, technology is an enabler not because it allow us to ‘use less’ — in other words, to do the things we currently already do but with less energy and time — but because they unlock the option of doing far more than what humans previously conceived as possible.

There are many aspects of life where it is ideal to have high convenience and low prices, where one can transact and exchange to satisfy desires immediately, but there seems to be these niche pockets where we long for low convenience and eye watering prices.

“What do people even do in this city to own a car like that?” was the next question that came to mind. It was a question aimed at the how — one that sought to reach beyond just the surface level what.

Within every day, there is a beginning followed by an end. An open followed by a close. A sun rise followed by a sun set.

These are the motions that are part of the natural cycle of what it means to experience time, of what it means to be subject to physical reality, of what it means to live.

It can be $5 or $500, but what they all share in common is this permeating, deep seated sense of satisfaction, appreciation and enjoyment.

A transaction, sure, but a willing exchange of money for the thing I had really wanted.

As a kid, one of my strongest desires was to make time pass by as quickly as possible.

It was not in school, the swimming teams, books or spending time with the other kids at the playground that attracted me the most, but instead it was the entire new worlds that were unlocked through the key that was video games.

Instead of a focus on ‘my solution is the best’, the question at the front of everyone’s mind is, ‘how might we learn by sharing our viewpoints with one another?'

During such journeys, sensations of novelty can come from doing the most mundane activities, like having breakfast or looking out across the horizon from a peak.

Because they feel ‘new’, our senses become heightened to be in sync with things as they occur.

If you cannot do, read. If you cannot read, listen. If you cannot listen, watch.

No matter what, just keep moving.

Instinctive responses towards doing the difficult but important things are surprisingly misleading, especially when the weather is cold and the sun is yet to rise.

This is not to say that every good thing has to lie behind intimidating barriers of discomfort but there are many things that come to my mind where the reward is sweeter when the journey of getting towards it was not as simple as one had expected in the beginning.

There is magic all around us, driven by technologies, tools, systems and processes that make human quality of life easier, faster and more enjoyable.

‍

There I was sitting on some random bench feeling like the happiest man in the world, and all I needed was some sunlight at an open air public place, a pen, a notebook and some warm clothes.

Could it really be this simple?

How does one know what to do when there is no map?

‘How did I even get here?’ is the question I still ask myself every now and then.

If making the jump from the world of process engineering and large scale cement manufacturing into the world of software-as-a-service (SaaS) and startups sounds crazy to you, trust me, I feel the same way — if not even more bewildered!

Something had clicked.

‘So you’re telling me that I can alter my circumstances by just… trying?’

We do the hard things, not because they are hard, but because they are worth it.

Most of the time, we cannot control costs. No matter where you are or who you are, there is no way to avoid the costs of being alive.

But what we can control is the price we are willing to pay for everything.

Only when our stories are clear to ourselves that we can begin to reasonably expect others to understand us better.

One of the tragedies of growing up — observing, experimenting and living more of the ‘real’ world — is to be plagued by the phantom of ‘no, you can’t.’

There was nobody I could blame or delegate responsibility to for coercing me into doing the things I had to do. Whether I would succeed or fail was purely up to me. The situation, then, was such that I had no choice but to lean in and try to make it work as best as I could—fuelled purely on intrinsic motivation and not much else.

‘Where would be the best investment of your future time and energy?’ — is now the prime question at the front of mind when it comes to researching companies doing interesting and important work.

When you drive a car, ride a bicycle, turn on the hot water in the shower or use a computer, it would be quite unusual to ask the question of, ‘how does this actually work?’

One of the really encouraging aspects of the rise of cryptocurrency into popular culture is its role as a forcing function that promotes financial literary. In order for one to participate in the space, let alone to win, it is necessary to have a basic level of financial literacy.

In hindsight, it was through opting into such associations that was what allowed me to meet like-minded people who shared the same values — creating a feeling of belonging and that we were on the same journey together.

Dyson.

It is likely you are familiar with the brand name, or have directly interacted with one of the many Dyson products out there in the wild, whether it is the vacuum cleaner or the hair dryer you have at home or when drying your hands at a public washroom with an Airblade.

It turns out that James Dyson, the inventor and entrepreneur behind the brand, has been innovating and creating since the 1970s — these everyday products that are available today have spent a long time in the making.

The waves are getting pretty high and choppy, but yet everyone in the water is managing well and doing what they need to do to stay afloat.

In this moment, you have two options: to continue to be an outside observer or to jump in along with everyone else and try to ride the waves.

Wartime does not discriminate. The young and able are the first to be deployed onto the front lines, but the resources that a battlefront demands will eventually propagate into the rest of society — be it in the driving of trucks, the running of an administration or in the production of food.

This is why the whole world is watching Ukraine and Russia  — the localised events will have downstream consequences on a global scale.

It is interesting how even the slightest of illnesses can throw one’s life out of balance. There is nothing like being ill to remind me of how fragile my body actually is.

You think you know something about anything? Just wait till you see what all these other people know — about themselves, others and the world around us. We are just getting started with a glimpse into a single node, now imagine multiplying that by 10x, 100x or even 1000x. What would the landscape look like then?

Just like the adage ‘you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with’, music is another form that can be quite insightful into who we are. What we listen to, what we choose to allow to be said to ourselves, turns out to be a strong psychological determinant in how we think.

The sheer quantity of companies and people who are out there doing really interesting work was astounding and a pleasant surprise — previously, I had no idea that there was such a vibrant ecosystem right here in Australia and still upheld this default notion that the most interesting technology companies were abroad, not here.

When in a triathlon, whether it is the arms wind milling in the water, the legs turning over the pedals or the feet pounding the pavement, it seems to be more about the mental game rather than the physical.

I found that, not only were the podcasts entertaining for the daily commutes, but there would more often than not be ‘aha moments’ — when I would gain a fresh insight to something I had been thinking about or learn something new that I could continue working on after.

Podcasting to me became all about learning, and it was incredible having the ability to ‘learn anywhere and anytime’, particularly useful for the many moments I would be doing mundane things or working with my hands.

In the beginning, I knew I was going to need some sort of structure to the days ahead. There was no longer going to be a full-time job to keep me ‘busy’, there were no pre-determined rules or guidelines, the field was wide open.

The funny thing about freedom is that in its complete, absolute form, things tend to fall apart. What I have come to realise is that my mind functions best when there are established boundaries, rules and constraints. I mentioned that this is funny, and this is what I mean.

Since leaving Gladstone and returning to Perth, I have spent much time in reflection and have reached a point where I am ready to look forward, through the windscreen instead of the rearview mirror.

These two elements are mutually inclusive, conditions of “high leverage and rare” or “low leverage and everyday” are not appealing to me. Once I find something that can be considered as high leverage, I want to be able to make it a part of my life — to become repeatable.

I believe that a happy life consists of a continuous accumulation of small, happy moments — not the transient blips of joy that come from big purchases, public achievements or one-off celebrations.

This was the question that hooked me into cryptocurrencies, as I explored further in a previous blog from September 21'.

With some time on my hands in recent weeks, I decided to dedicate myself towards studying the mechanisms underneath crypto beyond the news headlines and the price actions, to understand the ‘blockchain’ itself. What motivated me was the fact that I barely had any clue of what people were actually referring to when they spoke about cryptocurrencies, and this bothered me a lot.

What a strange feeling to have, having been online for much of my childhood all the way up to present day.

How could it be possible to feel isolated, with a near-effortless capability to connect with anyone in the world who has an internet connection (4.5+ billion human beings)?

Within the ‘ground zero’ of day-to-day living, it is so easy to get caught up in the minutiae, to feel stressed and at times overwhelmed by the problems that needed to be overcome. It is interesting, then, how the exact same problems look and feel different when looking at them from (literally) a different perspective.

Which of the problems were truly important and not just urgent? Really, there were only a selected few.

For me, the ‘slow days’ when it comes to sitting down to write has involved a lot of time waiting and staring at a blank page, blindly hoping for some divine inspiration to catalyse the process of getting words on paper.

Over time, I have learnt that these are the wasteful moments, because it is actually through the process of writing something, not the contemplation about or preparation to write, that leads to more ideas to write about.

What else do we truly possess but the time we are granted? Time to live, time to wander, time to expend and time to waste.

To be ‘running out of time’, it seems, is to eventually run no more.

Rumbling with the question of “What would a great life look like?” and then having to decide between two simple options:

A) To change (and downgrade) the dream

B) To alter my current trajectory

It has been chaotic, unsettling, painful, indecisive, frustrating but at the same time, hopeful, inspiring and challenging.

Each individual cog is then, by necessity, intentionally designed to operate within a pre-determined range in order to produce a pre-determined range of outcomes.

No more, no less, just what is required. The ultimate achievement is to match what is expected. To do anything other than this is to thwart the order of the system.

It is so easy to overlook how beautiful it is to be able to wake up to a new day.

I go to sleep every night with the blind assumption that I will automatically wake up the next day and have another shot at life. However, behind the scenes, there is a lot that needs to go right in order to allow this to happen.

It was 8:30 PM, and I found myself parked up on the curbside of a freeway off-ramp, an hour away from Brisbane city which was my intended destination for the night. Things were not going to plan.

If we have the capacity to wholeheartedly craft a plan all week long and commit five days to live fully for the two-day weekend, what would it look like if we took the same level of passion to wholeheartedly craft a good life?

Such a big question from a seemingly mundane casual conversation between a couple of strangers, yikes.

Here we go.

My first encounter with cryptocurrency was sometime between 2010–2012. I recall some old memories of my brother running a mining setup just from his home computer. I remember this vividly because of the many complaints that were coming from the parents; their concerns stemmed from the step change in the electricity bill during those times his computer would be churning through computations.

Nature can even be viewed as a system, one that it in continual optimisation of itself, it has no obligation to give a damn about whether one particular living being makes it through to the following day or not, let alone prosper into the future.

‘Nature knows best’ — but for who?

‘How do I earn more money?’

‘Who do I have to be around?’

‘What do I have to do?’

After recycling through these questions over and over again, spinning the mental cogs and getting nowhere, I eventually stumbled upon a new question, a reframe.

‘How much value am I producing?’

To cook and consume food:
We trade money and time, in exchange, for energy and sustenance.

To work:
We trade energy and time, in exchange, for money and purpose.

To socialise:
We trade attention and time, in exchange, for love and connection.

A trade is an exchange, not a sacrifice. An exchange of value for value, you receive what you really want for what you are willing to surrender.

The car does not make the owner, instead it is the owner that makes the car — a looter’s car becomes a moving symbol of undeserved wealth, transforming the material object from a source of pride and achievement to something ugly and disdainful.

What a privilege it is, to have the time and freedom to be able to choose to learn, handpick what to learn from and who to listen to.

I was inspired and curious, humbled and in awe, but at the same time excited for the future.

What I started to perceive of the world around me started to evolve, to expand and grow. I started to see possibilities and ideas, while becoming less obsessed with my own individual angst, all the noise about closed borders, lockdowns and forced isolations.

A part of me was saying ‘why can’t places like this be everywhere?!’ and another part of me was in awe, of the skill of Bridge’s owner in creating such an atmosphere through his passion for quality.

I was mesmerised. I had to go see this place myself.

A recipe for success.

Have '_ _ _ _ _'.

Do '_ _ _ _ _'.

Be '_ _ _ _ _'.

Really?

'The older I get, the more time I spend - as a percentage of each day - on crafting better questions... Life punishes the vague wish and rewards the specific ask.' - Tim Ferriss

You are capable of doing far more than you can even comprehend.

There are parts of you that have yet to be unlocked or fully uncovered.

But often the greatest challenge we all face is in taking that first step.

For many things, it is wise to heed what you are told.

This includes your own voice, the one that lives inside your head.

But there are times when the rewards far outweigh the risks. It is in these times where it is wise to jump.

A trip away from home, away from work, into the unknown.

Time to taste, time to feel, time to learn.

Today, here and now.

'It was the dragon', said Billy. 'There's no such thing', Mother started to say. 'There is a dragon', Billy insisted, 'A very big dragon'. And Billy patted the dragon on the head. The dragon wagged its tail happily. Then even faster than it had grown, the dragon started getting smaller. Soon it was kitten size again. 'I don't mind dragons this size', said Mother.
- An excerpt from There's No Such Thing as a Dragon by Jack Kent

"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me the most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive" - James Baldwin

The world closes shop and recedes into Safe Mode.

The mind opens up and creates a bunch of noise.

There are no easy distractions left to occupy it.

What should one do with all of this time freed up time?

Decisions, decisions ...

Hours roll into days.

Days roll into weeks.

And soon weeks into years.

Life is short, and yet we are often told to rush towards the end where freedom of time and money awaits.

Apparently.

What would I do if someone gave me a million dollars? "I don't know", would be the response in my head.

Money has never really been something that I've been asked much about or, even for myself, to have put much thought to. But my conditioning so far tells me this: the bigger the number, the better.

But what does 'better' even mean to me? What is it about money that I'm chasing here?

Two years ago, I decided for myself that I wanted to run away from everything and chase adventure. I wanted to shake things up, throw life in the air and see where the pieces would land. I knew I had to get away from familiar places, familiar faces and to see how far I could go on my own two feet.

Today, I sit down to get some answers from the past.

With much delay, I notice this post hidden away and sitting in the corner of my laptop.

Perhaps there was a part of me hoping that it would simmer away and develop more flavour. Who knows.

This is a reflection of 2018 for me.

Better late than never?

Taking a break has made me think about who I'm writing for. It would make sense if these stories are intended to allow others to understand myself better, but maybe this is only a small part of it.

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Articulating experiences through storytelling has allowed for me to glean deeper insights into my own past. I am writing for myself.

A wise friend once said, "When in doubt, diversify".
Most people would read this and think along the lines of financial diversification. The idea of not being reliant on a single source of income, for there are many things are completely out of your control that can steal this stability from right beneath you. My recent transition from university taught me that this can apply much more broadly, culminating in the idea of diversifying one's sense of identity.

It's fascinating how we dedicate time, money and effort towards training our bodies, our careers and our bank accounts but rarely do we consider training our mind. Starting a meditation routine has showed me that the mind in it's day-to-day, hour-to-hour, minute-to-minute state can actually be a very noisy, chaotic and unfamiliar place, something which I have never really paid any real attention to in the past.

Never did I ever imagine that I would be standing in a place like this, on a peak that I ascended with the help of my own car, let alone the idea of living and working in a regional town in Central Queensland. It seemed all too crazy. And exciting. And full of possibilities. But also doable and in control, because here I was. Everything was coming together.

The writing was on the wall. Life was about to take me in a new direction and in fact, right across to the other side of the country. And I was genuinely excited. I had 3 remaining weeks to spend back home in Perth and I was able to step back and breathe a bit.

It made me realise that the life I had built in this city, the people and support systems I cultivated around me played no small part in giving me a deep sense of security and bolstering my confidence in taking this leap across the country and into the unknown.

When conversations are able to float into topics you would never have the chance to talk about otherwise with people who I only got to know over a very short amount of time, that's when I knew I had found it.

This is about the meaningful connections that go above and beyond just getting along with another person because you share some common interests and enjoy each other's company; the intense feeling of mutual understanding that develops from being in an environment where there is nothing holding you back from being honest.

Celebrating New Years Eve did not mean doing something grand or celebrating just for the sake of the date. It meant getting together the family and people close to you, to share a meal at the dinner table and to talk about the past year and then sharing the moment when midnight comes along. It's not really about what happens but more on who you get to celebrate the occasion with that is more important.

Personally, I do not consider myself a very emotional person and would self identify with terms such as 'calm' and 'deals well with pressure'. My experience of leaving Perth for a 3 month placement with a non profit in Melbourne was an emotionally turbulent time but I did not want to (or did not know how to) admit it to myself at the time.

It took me some time to recognise the noise in my own mind and then to appease the turbulence by going through some tough questions.

October 2017 was an intense whirlwind of an experience. It all started from a Facebook post and before I knew it, I was spinning pedals to raise money for a good cause which spiraled into many long days on the saddle with a new team which culminated in a 3 consecutive day pro/am race in the annual Tour Of Margaret River.

This is a story of how I overcome my own doubts and did something I never believed I was capable of.